Monday, 3 November 2008

A thought.......

I have just been reading the latest poat on Simple,Green, Frugal Co-op blog & it makes perfect sense. To achieve more we need to plan better & follow that plan accordingly & everything slots into place.
It also reminded me that we need to remember to ensure we have time with our kids. Quality time. Now there's a couple of words for you. Quality time. What is it? In my book that means being there for the kids when they need you. Not when you can fit them in. I found my daughter needed me more as she became a teenager. On her terms but nevertheless I needed to be around when she needed me. I was lucky in a way. I had Joe when she was 10, having worked full time up to then from her being 18 months old. And yes I did miss out on so much up til then but finding myself a single parent felt I had to earn, not rely on benefits. So having Joe & discovering that there was no way we could afford childcare, the only other option was staying home. So I did. For five years before the lure of adult company & some much needed cash got the better of me. I have no regrets. I was around for all the trials & tribulations of a girl becoming a teenager. That was also the hardest time I have spent as a parent. My beautiful daughter turned into the teen from hell & pushed me to the very limits of my whole being. Many times I just wanted to run away & end it all. Have nothing more to do with her & mean it. Our marriage suffered dreadfully. But on good days I was there for her & I think she appreciated that. I returned to part time work when she was 15 & Joe 5, & it helped my sanity no end. I wasn't through the worst yet but it helped. I did throw her out once after I could no longer take the shouting, screaming, spitting etc, but I took her back before the end of the day. It was so very hard, that time. We had social workers, police, parenting classes you name it we tried it. But the only thing that worked was just being there in the finish. At least that's what I think.
Now I have a very pleasant young woman who knows what I went through & knows that I will always be there for her. And she also knows from bitter experience that the grass isn't always greener on the other side of the fence. And from that experience she has grown emotionally. Long may she continue to blossom.

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